Be-You-Ti-Full Figured Me

 

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Fat. Obese. Miss Piggy. Whale. I’ve been called all of these things… by… myself.
No one beats you up like the voices inside your head, they are downright brutal. There is no greater bully to pick on you than your thoughts. It doesn’t help that society makes it easy for you to do so.

Ironically, very few men have ever done anything but made me feel beautiful. It’s the women, ads, magazines, all the information coming at me about diet and weight loss that always makes me question my curves (and jiggles). Photoshop photos. Filters. Beat to the Gods faces. Bodies squeezed into waist trainers. All these things women use to enhance their looks, leaving women like me who don’t do so much, feeling inadequate, insecure and unhappy with us.

I say all the time, women don’t get dressed up for men, and we do it for other women. You can almost feel the scrutiny when you walk into a room, even if they never seem to look at you. You do a mental check in your head for yourself and every other woman in the room. Hair ✔Nails ✔️Clothes/Shoes/Bag/Accessories – On Point. “Did she get her eyebrows done permanently? “Did I shave my underarm hair?” “That face… must be Botox”, “Oh she definitely had work done to get that flat stomach” and “that dress is definitely so last season”.

I have two sisters and many female cousins with very different body types than Growing up full figured in a family of size 0’s will have you questioning your natural curves. Questioning whether the very air you breathe consumes calories because how could you be so different. So “awful looking’ compared to them? Why do we compare at all?

Body Shaming – noun – the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size. – Adjective – expressing mockery or criticism about a person’s body shape or size.

I’ve had it done to me and honestly, I’ve done it to other women too. It’s our favorite go-to when we are irritated or annoyed with someone or to make ourselves feel better. No one though, absolutely no one can beat us up like we do ourselves. This energy, this vibe, these thoughts and feelings we pass on to other women and it grows.

When will we stop? What are we doing to our daughters? Sisters?

In a girlfriends retreat I was hosting a few years back I was compelled to have each woman in the room, write down one nice thing about every other woman in the room. Some had never met, some knew each other casually, some were friends and some probably didn’t even like each other but they were all my friends and I wanted each of us to identify anonymously one thing about every other woman that we could admire. This practice was to get us in the mindset of changing the way we mentally abuse ourselves and other women – even in our thoughts. Make a conscious effort to love ourselves where we are at. Pass no judgement on other women especially if we don’t know their stories.

Thoughts become things, choose the good ones! Especially about yourself and other women. Beautiful Full Figured ME! I’m committed to be the change? Will you?

Share how you feel about this topic in my comments and let’s start the conversation. I invite you to co-write this piece with me on your thoughts on body image and how it affects you personally.

thoughts

2 thoughts on “Be-You-Ti-Full Figured Me”

  1. This is alll me!!!! Always feeling ugly and fat in a family of beautiful women. I couldn’t stay slim for nothing lol still can’t I had to learn really hard that everyone has a different genetic make up and loving me for me

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  2. Great post sis!
    I think that with time, usually we develop a different mind-set. Comparing ourselves to others, whether physically or economically “should” stop with maturity. You know me, I’ve been saying this for years: “Aint nobody tryin’ to be skinny!”
    Comfortable in our skin, grateful for our love ones and achieving personal goals are the most attractive parts of a woman.
    Angi

    Like

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