Diabetes, Hypothyroidism, Scoliosis, Anemia, Fibroid, A bad knee, oily skin, dry scalp…. this list of diseases and ailments seem never-ending. Family history also include: High Blood Pressure, Cancer, Heart Disease, Kidney Disease, Arthritis…. on and on and on.
I swear at one point I was taking metformin, levothyroxine, iron supplements, about 6 different medication for acne and dry scalp, an IUD to stop the heavy flow and cramping of fibroid, icy hot patches for severe lower pain… a walking pharmacy! In the back of my mind, I remembered my mother walking around with literally a shoe box size container of medications to be taken every day. I swear I never intended to end up there.
“You need to lose weight” – I swear I eat healthier than 90% of the people I know but with diseases like hypothyroidism, it feels damn near impossible. In an article in Everydayhealth.com it states “If your metabolism is a revved engine, thyroid hormone is the gas. But when you have hypothyroidism, your thyroid gland doesn’t make enough of the hormone, and your metabolism slows down. A slower metabolism can make it hard to lose weight, but it has other effects, too, such as fatigue and weakness.” A chick can’t catch a break.
One day, I ditched all the medicine, hired a personal trainer, Alphonso Hopson of Empowering Love Fitness and got really serious about fitness and nutrition. The process is pain-staking and slow. None of those diseases and ailments issues have changed so weight loss in slow and hard, my body still aches and my monthly cycle is still a blood bath but every day I get up determined to be a better, healthier me. I can feel muscles in places I’ve never had them before, definition in my arms and back, the scale doesn’t move much but every pound lost this time around is earned with blood sweat and tears… and some really bad profanity. I still crave all the sugar in the world and wish I was Willy Wonka. Sometimes in the middle of our fitness class, I ask the question: “Can’t I just be fat and happy?” to which my accountability partners, my beautiful sisters Sharmilita, Coleen and Sammy replies “You look good in that dress”.
On this International Day of Happiness, I choose to wear and feel happiness and tell myself “You look good in that dress” I’m nowhere near where I want to be but everyday I have to remind myself that this is not a weight loss goal but a lifestyle change that I am working on.
I struggle… I falter… I wanna quit… I beat myself up… but I get up and try again, praying everyday for Strength Over All Resistance S.O.A.R. If you struggle with something, I understand, I empathize, I love you.